We've had some great moments in the last few weeks, like a mission trip, turning in paperwork to the IRS, seeing my horse, and visiting with so many good friends. But, we've also had some no so great moments like mowers that just don't want to work, a van that needs new tires, miscommunications, a horse with lameness issues, and too much to do and not enough time to get it all done. We're all or nothing type people and have been "all in" at church, for the Ranch, on the property, for our family, and for community. Being "all in" in so many ways though means we are often spread thin financially, emotionally, and physically. How long can we go on pouring all we are and all we have into everything and everyone around us? Something eventually gives at some point, and what do we do when it feels like it is all falling apart?
I know we aren't the only ones to go through something like this, and this is all just one of many difficult moments on the way to starting the Ranch. And I imagine others handle these situations in different ways, but as for me, I just cling to Jesus. Mostly because I don't often know what else to do and also because it's when I grab hold of Him in my heart and my mind that I find clarity and strength. In Him, I find what I need to move forward. He makes the impossible possible, and often like feeding the 5000, He can help us find more in our hearts and lives to give.
And what if we invest all we are and all we have and everything "fails"? What then? If everything comes crashing around us and the Ranch falls flat on its face and we stand with empty hands, what do we say? "...and if not, He is still good." (Daniel 3:17-18)
When life is hard and giving up appears the best thing to do, or when it seems like dreams crash and burn before they even begin, I've found holding on to Him is the only way to see it all through. Is it all safe and easy? Certainly not. But through it all, He is good. He is faithful. In Him, we find strength and the will to take one more step forward. In Him, we "live and move and have our being."