What does it look like to be a mom, a volunteer, a wife, a helpmate, and an entrepreneur? Well, for me, it can take quite a bit of creativity. Sometimes, it's using the microphone button on my phone to jot down blog post notes as I cart kids around in the van. Other times, I plant myself at a McDonald's or Chik-fil-A to access wifi while waiting to pick up kids from school. I have even toted a bag full of books and notes to a local park so that my kids can have fun in the sun as I make outlines and respond to emails. While learning to multi-task has it's benefits, it also has a few downsides. I have to be careful to make sure that my time in front of a screen doesn't crowd out quality time with my children. It's easy to let my tasks and to-do lists push through the times that are precious and fleeting, and if this is true as my kids are in preschool and elementary right now, it's only going to get more challenging when they are both home this summer. And that's all before the ranch is even up and running.
I have also seen how focusing on everything else so much and not making time for myself is not healthy either. Just the other day I had an emotional breakdown because I simply wouldn't take the time to acknowledge and deal with lingering insecurities and mounting stress. Spending a whole day crying and barely being able to verbalize the source of the emotion had me re-evaluating a few of my daily scheduled routines. Here are a few steps I'm taking to carve out time for what's most important:
The insecurities gripping my heart are a result of not finding my identity in Christ. In order to reorient my source of strength and start off my day right, I am going back to spending time in God's Word every morning. What better way to begin each new day? What better way to be reminded that He is the author and provider of the vision and mission of the ranch?
I am also going through a Beth Moore Bible study where I am challenged to repeat these statements on a regular basis:
- God is who He says He is
- God can do what He says He can do
- I am who God says I am
- I can do all things in Christ
- God's Word is living and active in me
For now, afternoons are sacred. I can work in the morning and check off the lists, but the afternoons are for focusing on my kids. Maybe that means I am helping with homework or perhaps playing Legos, but it's all about being a mom.
And for myself and my marriage? I am blocking off as many evenings as I can. Our lives are busy and many nights are scheduled, but when I can I want to unwind and spend time with Devin.
These changes to my daily routine are not drastic, and it's really just taking to heart a time-blocking method learned from a friend. But, I have so much on my plate and so many different hats to wear that I need just a little bit more structure to my days and time to grow into the woman I long to be - the woman God would have me be.